Adam Schiff — the man who spent four years swearing he had secret evidence of Russian collusion that turned out to be less real than Bigfoot’s tax returns — would like you to know that he is very concerned about the Department of Justice wasting taxpayer money on investigations.
I’ll pause here so you can pick your jaw up off the floor. Take your time. Maybe get a glass of water. Because the sheer, weapons-grade audacity of this man complaining about expensive investigations is the kind of thing that should come with a surgeon general’s warning.
Senator Schiff — yes, he’s a senator now, because California voters apparently have the memory of a goldfish with a concussion — took to the airwaves this weekend to clutch his pearls over DOJ resources being spent on investigations he doesn’t like. The Department of Justice, he argues, should be more careful with the public’s money. It should focus on real priorities. It should exercise fiscal restraint.
This is the same Adam Schiff who championed the Mueller investigation. You remember that one, right? Two years. $32 million. Nineteen lawyers. Forty FBI agents. Five hundred witnesses. Twenty-eight hundred subpoenas. And at the end of it all — nothing. Not a single American charged with conspiring with Russia. The whole thing landed with the force of a wet napkin hitting a tile floor.
Did Adam Schiff complain about the cost? He did not. In fact, he went on television approximately nine thousand times to tell you it was the most important investigation in American history and that anyone who questioned the spending was a Putin puppet.
But wait — we’re not done with the highlight reel.
This is also the same Adam Schiff who sat on the January 6th Committee. That little production cost taxpayers somewhere in the neighborhood of $18 million, featured prime-time television hearings with Hollywood-grade production values, and employed a former ABC News executive to make sure the camera angles were just right. They had a professional TV producer, folks. Your tax dollars paid for a television show starring Liz Cheney.
Did Schiff express concern about the price tag? Not once. Not a whisper. In fact, he lobbied for the committee to continue its work as long as possible. Every additional month, every additional hearing, every additional subpoena — he wanted more. Cost was no object when the target was Donald Trump and anyone who voted for him.
And let’s not forget Schiff’s personal contribution to the genre: the first impeachment. The one where he stood in front of cameras and performed a made-up “parody” of Trump’s phone call with Ukraine, presenting fictional dialogue as if it were a dramatic reading. The House impeachment inquiry burned through staff time, legal resources, and institutional credibility at an industrial pace — and Schiff was the ringmaster. He didn’t ask what it cost. He asked for more popcorn.
So let’s tally this up. The Mueller probe: $32 million. The January 6th Committee: $18 million. Two impeachments: untold millions in congressional resources. Years of FISA court abuse. Staffers. Lawyers. Consultants. Leaks to reporters at restaurants that somehow always ended up at the same four outlets.
Conservative estimate? Adam Schiff personally championed investigations that cost American taxpayers north of $100 million — and produced exactly zero convictions of the people they were actually targeting.
But now — NOW — he’s discovered fiscal responsibility. Now that the DOJ is looking at Democrats. Now that the investigative spotlight has swiveled around and is shining in his direction. Suddenly the man who never met a subpoena he didn’t love is very worried about government overreach and wasteful spending.
This is like an arsonist complaining about the cost of fire trucks.
Here’s what’s really going on, and everyone knows it. Schiff doesn’t care about the money. He never cared about the money. He cared about the target. When investigations targeted Republicans, every dollar was an investment in democracy. When investigations target Democrats, every dollar is a waste of taxpayer resources. That’s not a principle. That’s a protection racket.
The conservative media lit him up immediately, because the hypocrisy isn’t even subtle. It’s not buried in footnotes or committee transcripts. It’s right there on the surface, blinking in neon. The man who spent more taxpayer money on political investigations than most small towns spend on road repair wants you to believe he’s a fiscal hawk.
We’re not buying it. We remember. We remember every breathless press conference where he claimed to have evidence he never produced. We remember every Sunday show appearance where he promised the walls were closing in. We remember the $32 million Mueller nothing-burger and the $18 million primetime J6 telethon.
Adam Schiff doesn’t get to lecture anyone about wasting money on investigations. That’s like asking the guy who maxed out seventeen credit cards to teach a Dave Ramsey course.
But hey — at least now we know what it takes to make a Democrat care about government spending. Apparently all you have to do is investigate one.